Bertha's
Bertha's Soul Food. Yeah, can I get catfish to go? Ah..you said a catfish to go? Yeah. And what side orders with that? Can I get on-i-on... Onions? ...and celery stick... We don't have celery stick. ...and chives...and I want to get an orange drink, and a chocolate bar. Say it again? I can't hear you, man. Why don't you listen up, man? Why don't you tell your friend to pipe down so you and I can talk, here? It's not my friend, sir, it's a customer. I'm not interested in that. How about that? How about you get off the phone and shut up? --- Hello, how may I help you? Yeah, can I get pork loins and an orange drink? Yeah, we have all that for you. Just come down here and order, and you should be all in the game. OK, fruitcake? That's not all. I'd also like some fish in there. Catfish? Mmh...no. Actually, not. So... What kind? I'll give you time to get a pen and then you can, ah...work it out. How's that sound, junior? That sounds perfect. 'Kay, great. Give me 20 minutes, and it'll be ready, and come your butt down here and you can order. Sharpen your pencil, and, ah...write it down. How about you sharpen my pencil for me? Wanna sharpen my pencil? --- Bertha's. What's up? guitar music Yeah, ah...I wanna get a pickup. You want a pickup? I need...neckbones. music Pork or beef? Pork or beef? Pork neck. Pork neck. How's that s- You like dark meat? So... music OK, what's your name? Ah...Nick. Nick the dick. Okay. Be ready for you in 10-15 minutes. Well, I'm here now, so I'll just step in and pick it up. How's that grab you? Sounds great. music OK, and I'm going to use coins, and probably might take a long time, so..probably not gonna like it. Dance with the devil in the pale moon light. You're gonna be dancing with my fists. It's gonna be lights out when I'm done with you. music Sounds good to me, Jello-spine. I need neckbones, buddy. music Alright, pillow grabber. OK, talk to you later, you cumguzzling cockmonger. I'm gonna hang up. Bye-bye. And I'm not gonna call back, so don't even bother answering, because it's not gonna be me. You know what? Just for that, I won't answer. Now. I'm gonna fax you three pages in a row, right now. No, not three pages! That's too much! music I'm doing it! And then I'm gonna come in there...and not buy anything. How's that sound? Tell you what, how about we get together and save the rainforest? Sure...be able to find your way out...when I'm done...throttlin' ya. Okay, willy-whacker. Cause it's gonna be end of business here, for you; pretty soon. That's okay, we're not a real business, anyway. You can say that again! So...seriously, skeleton necks, right? Skeleton necks? That's what you guys got, right? music Mr. Willy-Whacker. How often do you whack your willy? Gonna squeeze my weapon, pretty quick. Yeah, but I'm not talking about your weenie, man. Yes, you were! I'm talking about steel. Yes, you were. I'm talking about steel. You were talking about it three times, just now. Huh? Yeah, you heard me. The willy-whacker? Yes, you're a willy-whacker. I didn't say you were whacking your willy, you were just whacking willies. Willy the Wrangler. You see a willy, you whack it. That's what you're talkin'. Hey, man. Check it out, Jello-spine. I know that you're a pillow biter, grabber, okay? Butt pirate is what you're called. Now, that's no problem. I got no problem with that. That's your lifestyle, that's okay. But...you don't have to call up here trying to force your lifestyle on us hard-working individuals. Nobody wants to hear about your butt games, okay? Especially with your skeleton meat that you've got. Skeleton meat. music Yeah, yeah. I tell you what, take this skeleton bone and shove it right up your mom. I don't eat shit like that! You don't? Neckbones? Hell no. You put this bone in your mouth, you're saying? That's what you're...all about, isn't it? No, no. You're not putting nothing of mine in your mouth. I'm not like that. I just told you, you're not going to impose your lifestyle on me. You're promoting some kind of neckbone, and I don't like it. It melts in your mother. I mean, it melts in your mouth. in background I want a refund. You got it. Tell me sir, are you a r'tard? That's not very friendly. So, how long have you been gay? Westwood? West L.A.? Where is it the gay people are at? Your house? I don't know. I want some catfish, bro. I wanna talk to your mom. You know, we can make a movie, her and me. You can write out the title..."My Mom Takes Stiff Black One." No? I want an orange soda. Well, we have orange soda. And a chocolate bar. I have a chocolate bar. Okay, I'll take it. Where? Pick-up. You'll take it where? Where will you take it? Right up the wazoo, huh? Look man, I've had enough of your games, now. music Why don't you go home and whack your willy a bit longer, tell your little girlfriend over there to help you. I hear him coughing in the background. What's he gagging on, your cat? continues Okay, you done? Hey, wait, wait. I like that. Turn that up a little? Could you... Could you turn that up a little? You done? I'm about out of time. You're out of time? It's been good. Okay, we've had fun. I still wanna milk your mom. And now, I'm gonna WHOOP y'ass! laughs You're great, man! You're great. Who taught you this? Category:Food Category:Long-winded Category:Do you have...